Sunday, November 24, 2019

Polar Vortex

“I missed you,” my soul whispered to yours as it felt its vibrations. I knew your presence would be idiosyncratic to my growth, but I had no idea you would hurt this much. It comforts me to know that only you got to see the depths of my darkness and that the whole world didn’t curl up to haunt me. A depressive episode that burst from a constricting environment - my body shivered as it prepared to witness the inevitable collision. So often you would lay your head on my chest to hear the noise inside my heart. You got me good. 

Narcissism, abandonment issues and a deep stain of rejection - all the hues in your voice’s inflection. I was afraid of you and yet sick of the fear, so I jumped in your sea of judgements without hesitation. I lost my dignity the second I let you walk over wounds and allowed you to place my light and my love below your reckless desire to repress anything you might feel. And I thought this night was cold - boy, nothing beats your chilling lack of compassion. 

Did you really happen? You felt like a moment, like the sound of the cars passing by. A recollection of distorted sensorial information, a maze of the nothingness inside your heart and a mental picture of your frigid eyes - all fading away. 

I've highlighted your shallowness, hypocrisy and heightened sense of intellect so I remember not to fall for the walking wounded.

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